Episode 142

Photo Credit: James Radcliffe

“Do you two need to be alone?,” Legacy grimaced, feigning disgust and shielding her eyes. Turning the corner at exactly the wrong time ) or the right one, Legacy got an eye full. There were Carrie and David, doubled over the table, laughing with tears streaming, while Carrie attempted (badly) to take the entire length of what left of pizza crust fully into her mouth.

Carrie made a sound that sounded something like, “Chaaaaaaakkkkkkk,” spitting the now soggy remnants of pizza out and laying it casually on her plate.

“Huh?” she smiled, nonchalantly, as if she hadn’t just been caught mimicking oral sex on what was left of her dinner.

“Heeeeyyyy,” David smiled and winked flirtatiously. “Come sit by me.” He patted the spot beside him and shifter over to make room.

“I think, no.” Legacy smiled in spite of herself. Her besties were hammered and laughing and together. The alcohol aside, it was nice to see them getting along and having a good time. She sat on the sliver of space next to Carrie whom she shoved over when she didn’t take the hint to make some space. “Who wants to tell me what I just walked up on?”

“Nothing…nothing at all,” David lied, winking again only this time with his whole face. Drunk people were fun.

“You’ve got catching up to do,” Carrie began, waving to flag down a server.

“Oh, no. Someone has to be the designated brain until you two sober up. Not that this isn’t fun and a much-needed distraction.”

“Oh, yeah,” David spoke lowly, sudden;y seeming slightly sober. “The police. What happened?”

“Nothing I want to talk about… until you two catch me up. Exactly why were you jamming a breadstick down your throat?”

“I wasn’t!” Carrie took offense.

“It was a pizza crust,” David corrected and then added very clinically, ” And she’s practicing her blow job.”

“Oooh kay,” Legacy nodded slowly, trying very hard not to laugh. They both seemed so serious.

An embarrassed look passed between David and Carrie with Carrie blushing a raging shade of crimson.

“Fine,” Carrie relented. “I was going to ask you anyway.”

“You want to know how to…” Legacy the blow job gesture with her hand and tongue in her cheek, just as the server walked by shaking her head and laughing causing Carrie to grab Legacy’s hand and lower it to the table.

“Oh, now you’re embarrassed?” Legacy giggled. “5 minutes ago you were making that pizza crust your bitch but okay…”

“I’m just concerned…about my ability to… um…”

“Accommodate…,” David finished for her.

“Oh, so this was an intellectual discussion then?”

“Yes,” Carrie insisted, almost sounding offended. Almost.

“Yes, I will have a glass of whatever cheap swill they’re having,” Legacy blurted to the passing server, who incidentally hadn’t asked.

Ten minutes later, Legacy was mellowed out as the Cardboardeaux that Pinot’s was passing off as wine hit her bloodstream while Carrie was wide-eyed with a sudden dry mouth.

Legacy finished her instruction with, “also, don’t forget to give the brothers a courtesy squeeze now and then.”

“How am I supposed to remember all of that?” Legacy had thrown around words like perineum and edging and popsicle. What?

Meanwhile, David sat, listening quietly apparently very amused.

When Legacy was finished and Carrie sat like aghast, he finally spoke up. “Are you done?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it.” Legacy nodded.

“Why do you chicks all have to do that?”

“Do what?” both Legacy and Carrie barked defensively?

“Why do you have to complicate men? We’re a lot easier than that.” And then to Legacy, “You’re freaking her out for no reason.”

“She asked and the better prepared she is the less nervous she’ll be.”

“Look at her.”

“I’m right here,” Carrie laughed nervously.

“David, I know what I’m talking about. I’m not proud of it but I’ve actually had quite a lot of dick.” She smirked. “Who am I kidding, I’m kinda proud of that.”

“I’m sure you’ve actually had a lot of dick but I actually have a dick and I’m telling you…” he turned his attention to Carrie, “I’m telling you, he’ll be happy your touching him at all. He’s a dude and we are not that complex.”

Carrie darted her eyes back and forth between her two best friends like she was watching a tennis match and sussing out which of them would win. Legacy raised her eyebrows as if to silently invoke some girl-best-friend-override but to no avail. Carrie turned to David leaving Legacy to throw her hands up in defeat.

“It’s really that easy?”

“Okay, first of all, is he asking? Is that what brought this on? Because you don’t have to…”

“No, of course not. That’s not his style but he is a guy. He wants me to, right?”

“Uh… yuuuuhhhuhhh… there’s a better than average chance that he’s hoping you will but doesn’t know how to ask… you know… given your special circumstance.”

“My what now?”

“You know what I mean. I mean that… you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” she relented, letting him off the hook. “So, what do I do?”

“My advice? In your special circumstance? He loves you. Tell him what you’re thinking, don’t dive right in, and just play around. You’ve had sex already and from what you said it was mind-blowing. You’ve already rocked his world in more ways than one… trust me.”

Legacy shook her head, in agreement finally.

“It doesn’t have to be sexy or even particularly effective. It can just be fun and even if it’s not that good, it’ll be something you try together.” David finished.

“I hate when you’re right,” Legacy rolled her eyes.

“Is he?” Carrie asked.

“Yes,” Legacy faked annoyance. “This is Nate we’re talking about. He’ll be all perfect and cute and you’re probably not going to be that great at it at first but that’s also because it feels like you’re in charge and you like this thing you’ve got going with him.”

“What thing?”

“The thing where you’re the sweet little virgin and he’s the guy that changed everything,” David answered.

Carrie blushed again for the dozenth time. “I’m not though. Not anymore but I’d be lying if I denied it. It was kind of my identity for such a long time and I don’t want him to stop seeing me like that. But I also want the freedom to step out of it but step back in if I want to. I want to be cotton panties and crotchless chaps.”

“He will always see you like that. There’s no way that he will ever get the first time out of his head. That I know for a fact. What you did with him and for him and how you put complete trust in him, especially after waiting so long, will impact him for the rest of his life. Believe me.” David promised.

“You’re talking about Brittney?”



“Okay, yes. But that means I know what I’m talking about. It’s true that a guy can have sex and not let it affect him but when we care about someone, it has just as deep an impact as it does on women.”

“Is that really true?” Legacy asked sadly. Personally, she’d only ever experienced the no-strings approach and though she pretended that that was her preference, she secretly wished for what Carrie had with Nate. Some people were just cut out for being in love and some weren’t Or so she thought.

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